How to deal with haters and bullies on the internet

How to deal with bullies haters on the internet

I will admit, the picture above has no real relation to what I'm about to talk about, but let's pretend there's a seriously meaningful, er, meaning behind it. You see those sunglasses? They're blocking out the haters. You see me standing alone in the dark alley? That's a metaphor for how lonely bullying can make one feel. But the light at the end? That's another poetic metaphor for just that - there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Okay so I'm trying to make light of the situation, but we all know I'm never one for a super serious blog post. Either way, the topic of online bullying is something I'd like to address, in true, rambling Steph form.

I won't divulge into this too much, but I've been at the receiving end of both real life and internet bullying multiple times, probably just like most of you reading this! Last week I had a few comments regarding a certain blog post of mine, and they weren't exactly the nicest. No biggie. I mean, I like to think of myself as fairly thick-skinned (that saying always grosses me out for some reason) but a few months back it was enough to turn me into nothing short of an emotional wreck. In fact, that's probably an understatement. Now? Well, just call me the..hater see you later...er. Okay, I'll work on a better name, but you catch my drift. What I'm trying to say, is that when it comes to dealing with internet nasties, I like to think I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

You know what they say - any press is good press. I mean, it's a little general, but it's pretty much true. If you're a good person (which I'm sure you all are!) the bad things being said are probably pretty inaccurate, which means you don't need to take personal notice of them anyway. For things like this, I like to think of it as the previous: it's all good press. If someone hates me enough to continuously come back to my site, then hell, I'll just go ahead and think of them as one extra unique visitor per day. It's a crappy thing to do (categorising people into being just a number, that is) but if it helps, I'm all for it. Just delete the nasty comments and subconsciously say thank you to the visitor for upping your analytics.

The next thing I like to do is to actually take the comments on board. Now obviously, if the comment is something along the lines of 'You're a *insert insult here* then please, feel free to block and delete that comment and person entirely. Bad vibes are not where it's at. But when it's a comment with a purpose, even if it's one that's not worded in the kindest way, I do like to take a little time to actually consider what these people are saying. Once upon a time I had someone tell me my videos on Youtube were too long and boring. Ouch. But hey, if they were thinking it (and happened to say it too) then maybe others were as well. And maybe they were just too polite to say anything about it. So I took that on as creative criticism, and voila! On the next video they complimented me and even apologised about the comment the time before. Score.

This leads me onto another way to deal with online bullies. Kill them with kindness. I said this on a Twitter chat the other night, and so many people agreed. Remember when your parents told you ignore the bullies? I was never very good at that. In fact, I'm still not very good at that, only now - instead of getting angry - I get friendly. Seriously friendly. If bullies (both online and off) don't get a negative reaction, they'll soon stop having fun. It's your blog/website/Youtube/whatever, and they're the ones encroaching on your little space. Have some fun of your own. Smiley faced emojis are my secret weapon. 

Now obviously one way to get rid of trolls is to delete them and/or simply ignore them, but let's face it, once you've seen a nasty message you may as well have it imprinted on your forehead for the rest of the day. One way that I've found to decrease the amount of negative comments even popping up on my blog is to address pretty much every issue imaginable in that one blog post. I mean, take this post for example. I'll be the first to admit that I am no psychology genius nor am I a poster-girl for anti-bullying. I blog, these are my thoughts, and that's pretty much all this blog is ever for (and the odd blog post about how much I effing love leather jackets). I tend to tackle any negative issues straight up, so that when/if anyone trolls the comments saying the same thing, I'm prepared for it. I know my downfalls, I know there's probably eighteen different typos in here and I'm fully aware that I've probably said something stupid within the past few paragraphs. Guilty as charged. So just as long as I'm aware, these commenters can't hurt me. Sticks and stones my friends, stick and stones...

How do you deal with the h8rs?

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Lily Lulu waterfall coat *
ASOS faux leather trousers
Forever 21 mules *
Ray-Ban sunglasses *
Forever 21 trio bag *

Pool sliders and leather layers

UK Fashion Beauty Blog Leather Outfit
UK Fashion Beauty Blog Leather Outfit
UK Fashion Beauty Blog Leather Outfit
UK Fashion Beauty Blog Leather Outfit

So I don't know if you've noticed this about me at all, but I've got a bit of a thing for leather/faux leather things. And sandals. I bloody love ugly sandals. After my little ASOS spending spree the other day I couldn't say no to another pair of PU trousers. I don't know what it is about them, but for some reason I find them 10x easier to style than just your regular pair of jeans. Chuck on a pair of heels for a night out, a pair of trainers for the day...and a pair of pool sliders for when you're at the pool/just trying to embarrass your boyfriend who has to take photos of you. So multifunctional. 

OooOoOo so before I forget - whilst we're on the topic of clothes and stuff - I'm going to start working on some fashiony Youtube videos on my channel very, very soon. I'd like to do a 'how to style' feature on there, so if there's something you desperately want to see styled up in an outfit, shoot it my way!

And PS..what's the opinion on the new lens!?

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ASOS FAUX LEATHER SHIRT (SOLD OUT)
ASOS FAUX LEATHER TROUSERS
OUSHKA AVA CLUTCH * (ON SALE)
PRIMARK POOL SLIDES
 

The Perfect Every Day Bag from Over My Body

Cocochic+Naked+Vice+All+Black+Everything+OOTD
Cocochic+Naked+Vice+All+Black+Everything+OOTD
Cocochic+Naked+Vice+All+Black+Everything+OOTD
Cocochic+Naked+Vice+All+Black+Everything+OOTD
Cocochic+Naked+Vice+All+Black+Everything+OOTD

The Australian's do it pretty well, whatever 'it' might be. The majority of my favourite blogger babes come from across the pond, and let's face it, the country itself looks pretty damn good too. When growing up my idea of Aussie fashion probably would have been teeny tiny bikinis, a slap of SPF and..not a lot else if I'm honest, but recently I discovered the UK website Over My Body, which introduced me to a whole bunch of new brands from the outback.

I'm pretty picky when it comes to bags. Believe it or not, it's actually near impossible to find a simplistic bag that isn't either doused in tacky gold metal or so expensive that you need to take out an extra mortgage just to borrow it. I've used my Phillip Lim bags on the blog enough to bore you all to tears, so I'm very excited to announce that I've finally found a new every day bag. Huzzah! You can shop the entire collection here.

Have you heard of Over My Body before?

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Black Beanie Hat
Warehouse Leather Jacket *
Tobi Utility Shirt *
French Connection Trousers (SIMILAR FROM J BRAND HERE) *
Superga Leather Trainers *
Naked Vice Reckless Bag via Over My Body *

Flash Back Friday on a Saturday

Flash Back Friday
Flash Back Friday Outfit

Having my annual Macbook clear up and came across these pictures from a few months ago! I like to think of this sort of thing as my go-to outfit whenever I'm stuck for what to wear. And the best bit? I picked this coat up for a fiver. Oh yes.

Next tweed coat (last season but similar here)
H&M cami top (last year but also here)
Blank NYC leather trousers (budget version here)
Boutique 9 heels (sold out but cheaper here)
3.1 Phillip Lim clutch (another budget option here)

Fashion Blogger Problems

Fashion Blogger Problems
Fashion Blogger Problems

Been obsessing over low back sweaters for a while now - completely impractical for the winter but I couldn't wait until the warmer months to whack it out. Risking hypothermia in the name of #fashun - now that's commitment. I did have a really nice new ear cuff I wanted to show you, but evidently it wasn't an ear-showing sort of day. Maybe next time.

H&M camel coat (sold out but similar hereee!)
Nameless low back knit (highstreet option here)
Blank NYC faux leather trousers (cheaper here)
Steve Madden ponyhair slip-ons (some here too)
Shop accessories (that I'm obviously missing) at Freshtrends.com