How to deal with haters and bullies on the internet

How to deal with bullies haters on the internet

I will admit, the picture above has no real relation to what I'm about to talk about, but let's pretend there's a seriously meaningful, er, meaning behind it. You see those sunglasses? They're blocking out the haters. You see me standing alone in the dark alley? That's a metaphor for how lonely bullying can make one feel. But the light at the end? That's another poetic metaphor for just that - there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Okay so I'm trying to make light of the situation, but we all know I'm never one for a super serious blog post. Either way, the topic of online bullying is something I'd like to address, in true, rambling Steph form.

I won't divulge into this too much, but I've been at the receiving end of both real life and internet bullying multiple times, probably just like most of you reading this! Last week I had a few comments regarding a certain blog post of mine, and they weren't exactly the nicest. No biggie. I mean, I like to think of myself as fairly thick-skinned (that saying always grosses me out for some reason) but a few months back it was enough to turn me into nothing short of an emotional wreck. In fact, that's probably an understatement. Now? Well, just call me the..hater see you later...er. Okay, I'll work on a better name, but you catch my drift. What I'm trying to say, is that when it comes to dealing with internet nasties, I like to think I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

You know what they say - any press is good press. I mean, it's a little general, but it's pretty much true. If you're a good person (which I'm sure you all are!) the bad things being said are probably pretty inaccurate, which means you don't need to take personal notice of them anyway. For things like this, I like to think of it as the previous: it's all good press. If someone hates me enough to continuously come back to my site, then hell, I'll just go ahead and think of them as one extra unique visitor per day. It's a crappy thing to do (categorising people into being just a number, that is) but if it helps, I'm all for it. Just delete the nasty comments and subconsciously say thank you to the visitor for upping your analytics.

The next thing I like to do is to actually take the comments on board. Now obviously, if the comment is something along the lines of 'You're a *insert insult here* then please, feel free to block and delete that comment and person entirely. Bad vibes are not where it's at. But when it's a comment with a purpose, even if it's one that's not worded in the kindest way, I do like to take a little time to actually consider what these people are saying. Once upon a time I had someone tell me my videos on Youtube were too long and boring. Ouch. But hey, if they were thinking it (and happened to say it too) then maybe others were as well. And maybe they were just too polite to say anything about it. So I took that on as creative criticism, and voila! On the next video they complimented me and even apologised about the comment the time before. Score.

This leads me onto another way to deal with online bullies. Kill them with kindness. I said this on a Twitter chat the other night, and so many people agreed. Remember when your parents told you ignore the bullies? I was never very good at that. In fact, I'm still not very good at that, only now - instead of getting angry - I get friendly. Seriously friendly. If bullies (both online and off) don't get a negative reaction, they'll soon stop having fun. It's your blog/website/Youtube/whatever, and they're the ones encroaching on your little space. Have some fun of your own. Smiley faced emojis are my secret weapon. 

Now obviously one way to get rid of trolls is to delete them and/or simply ignore them, but let's face it, once you've seen a nasty message you may as well have it imprinted on your forehead for the rest of the day. One way that I've found to decrease the amount of negative comments even popping up on my blog is to address pretty much every issue imaginable in that one blog post. I mean, take this post for example. I'll be the first to admit that I am no psychology genius nor am I a poster-girl for anti-bullying. I blog, these are my thoughts, and that's pretty much all this blog is ever for (and the odd blog post about how much I effing love leather jackets). I tend to tackle any negative issues straight up, so that when/if anyone trolls the comments saying the same thing, I'm prepared for it. I know my downfalls, I know there's probably eighteen different typos in here and I'm fully aware that I've probably said something stupid within the past few paragraphs. Guilty as charged. So just as long as I'm aware, these commenters can't hurt me. Sticks and stones my friends, stick and stones...

How do you deal with the h8rs?

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Lily Lulu waterfall coat *
ASOS faux leather trousers
Forever 21 mules *
Ray-Ban sunglasses *
Forever 21 trio bag *

The reason behind why I started blogging

UK fashion blog - Why I started blogging
UK fashion blog - Why I started blogging

Hello world. Remember me? I was that girl that posted on this blog like a psychopath...then suddenly stopped for a little while. Apparently, my University course head teacher queen-of-schools person didn't consider the fact that I might want to actually post pictures of myself on the internet during my studies. So yeah, the past few days have been spent with me painstakingly typing out a case study filled with words I'm not even sure I know the meaning of. But hey, they sound good.

Anyway, it's been a little while since I've been blogging on my lonesome (for those late to the party/AKA my blog, I was on a network a few months back) and I like to think I've gotten back into the swing of things. Do not correct me if I'm wrong, just allow me to feel good about this for five seconds please.

So yeah, before the big move to this website I was starting to feel a little 'worked' by blogging. I mean sure, luckily blogging is pretty much my full-time job, but can I really call it that? It takes a lot of effort, planning and time (and obviously a genius brain, ahem) but I'm hardly a nueroscientist or super-smart academic. Realistically, I write things on the internet, take photos of things I like and get my boyfriend to take photos of me whilst all other inhabitants of my city look at me like a crazy person. I'm going off on one of those tangents I like to go on again, so I'll stop here.

Long story short, during the past few days I've seriously missed blogging - something that I haven't really felt for a while. I've missed typing nonsense on the internet in hopes that someone will read it and potentially laugh/emulate with what I have to say. And that in itself has made me realise that my original reason for blogging has changed completely.

I'll say something you've probably all thought at least once when looking through my pictures. Sometimes I dress weird. Not weird in a sort of 'oh that girl is so cool and different and individual' but more along the lines of being that girl in primary school that showed up on non-school-uniform day wearing a black and yellow Spice Girl mini dress that advertised my stomach without a care in the world. Uh yeah, I did that. Multiple times. I digress. What I'm really trying to say is that hey, I'm pretty much just an average girl (don't you hate it when internet people say that?) that's not a super model in the making, or one of those super cool fitness girls you see on Instagram, or someone with loads of money that can make you wish you were me. Nope. I'm pretty much just a born and bred country girl that ever so slightly detests overly social situations, with a fairly decent broadband speed and a wardrobe filled with things that aren't exactly the norm in 'countryside' terms. I mean really though, why don't more people wear fluffy leopard print coats these days?

So let's rewind (and let's also take a second to come to terms with a fact that this is yet another overly long post from yours truly. Sorry not sorry). I started a blog because everyone else looked cool doing it. That's it. When I was younger I wasn't exactly my number one fan, so starting a blog that - from the outside world - just looks like a website filled with photos of myself, may seem a little vain. Who knows, maybe that's exactly what it was! But meh (and I don't use that word/sound effect lightly) it was just what I was doing at the time. Copying others because I couldn't quite figure out my own little path in life *emotional music*.

But seriously, I started my blog because everyone else was doing it. It was the 'cool' thing to do and hey, all of the big bloggers just looked like they had the best life ever, so evidently if I just took a few pics of myself on an old Coolpix camera I'm bound to be snapped up by Louis Vuitton any second (side note: still waiting on that email, LV). But alas, that is still yet to happen. But you know what has happened? It's all in the title my babies. After all this time blogging and not knowing exactly why I was doing it, I've finally figured it out. And it's honestly the most insanely wild thing you'll hear all day. Ready? Okay. I started blogging because I like to write.

Woah. Journalism student. Girl that writes (wait let me count) eight paragraphs and counting on one blog post!? This girl likes writing!? I told you, it's a doosey. But that's literally it. I like sharing things with people - not because my life is so incredibly glamourous (seriously, I have hair removal cream on my upper lip right this second) or because I have any real wisdom to share, but because I just like taking words out of my mouth and putting them onto paper - or in this case, a blog.

I'll be the first to say it - I'M SOCIALLY AWKWARD! Which is so damn ironic because hey, that's what blogs are built around now - being social. I've spent so much of my real life being semi-quiet about life in general, and I've spent so long blogging about what I'm wearing that I've cracked. I need to talk, a lot. Okay scrap that. I need to talk in my head a lot, and then type it so the whole world can see what I'm thinking. Logical Steph, logical.

I'm not a fantastical traveller, nor am I a super chic style icon (god how I wish I could just change my blog name to 'normal person' - but I'm guessing that URL is probably taken and/or costs  bomb). At the end of the day - like I said above - I'm just a semi-boring girl that dresses slightly different to the other people in my street, with a lot of stuff to say but no real guts to say it in person. Oh, actually I think I summed that up pretty well. I am in fact, just a keyboard warrior - you know, minus the abuse. Okay that was a bad analogy. But I do feel pretty sorry for how many times I pound my keyboard a minute. 

But let's face it, if I can write this much in twenty minutes, just be glad I don't spill my guts in person 24/7. I'd never shut up.

What was the reason you started blogging?

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TRIWA sunglasses *
Chicwish backless sweater *
ASOS leather trousers
Forever 21 mules *
Forever 21 trio bag *

UK fashion beauty blog

100 blog post ideas to help kick that creative block

100-creative-blog-post-ideas-cocochic.jpg

In the blogging world there can be days when one minute you're full to the brim with blog post ideas, and the next you've got complete writers block. I've only ever seen a few blog posts like this for the fashion and beauty world, so I've decided to jot down some ideas over the past few weeks to help you lovely lot out - and maybe kick my own ass into gear. Get your copy and paste on!

 

1. Five things to be happy about
2. Favourite blogs of the month
3. Facts about yourself
4. Outfit of the day
5. Makeup collection
6. A competition/giveaway
7. Blogging advice
8. Fashion wish list
9. Exercise tips
10. Fashion/beauty haul
11. Book review
12. Favourite Instagram accounts
13. 'How to style' outfit posts
14. Product reviews
15. Room tour
16. Host a guest post
17. What's in your bag
18. Photography tips
19. Facts about yourself
20. What's on your phone
21. Host a Q+A
22. Favourite podcasts
23. An interview with a blogger
24. Interior inspiration
25. A news story
26. Products worth the hype
27. A DIY / how to
28. Healthy snack recipe
29. Pay-day shopping picks
30. A fashion show review
31. A story about yourself
32. A list post (kinda like this!)
33. A rant (it feels good!)
34. Your favourite beauty products
35. A list of your dreams and goals
36. A tag post (TMI tag, etc)
37. A post on your friend/partners style
38. Your every day makeup routine
39. College/University advice
40. A before and after post
41. An Instagram roundup
42. A 30 day challenge
43. A review of a place
45. A controversial opinion
46. Your hair history
47. A 'get the look' style post
48. What's in your makeup bag
49. Monthly favourites
50. Details of your home
51. Your food diary
52. An empty products review
53. Your handbag collection
54. The reason you started blogging
55. A makeup tutorial
56. Share some positivity
57. Ask your readers a question
58. Places to visit where you live
59. Your favourite apps
60. A 'day in the life' style post
61. Offer a service
62. A list of life hacks
63. Must-have items
64. Empty product reviews
65. Share your work space
66. Round up your outfits this month
67. Style inspiration post
68. How you stay organised
69. A movie review
70. Favourite street style looks
71. A birthday/anniversary post
72. Share your favourite blog posts
73. A get ready with me post
74. 5 things you couldn't live without
75. Job interview tips
76. Behind the scenes photos
77. A brand focus
78. An event you've been to
79. Your opinion on a trend
80. Save Vs splurge
81. How to de-stress
82. An open letter to someone
83. A 'who wore it best?' post
84. How to gain followers on Instagram
85. How to start Youtube channel
86. What blogging has taught you
87. Blogger bloopers (I dare you)
89. Your shoe collection
90. Affordable homeware ideas
91. Your experience at school
92. How to promote your blog
93. An eBay wishlist
94. Face of the day
95. Ways on how to procrastinate
96. Blogging dos and don'ts
97. Beauty hacks
98. How to get motivated
99. Things to do when you're sad
100. Your five year plan

 

Let me know if you have any blog post ideas!?

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UK fashion and beauty blog


Happy Weekend! Want to win a Daniel Wellington watch?

Daniel Wellington Watch Giveaway

I think we all know how much I love my Daniel Wellington watch (and if not, just take a look at pretty much every outfit posts of me..ever?) - they're amazing quality and look pretty damn great with just about everything - so when the lovely people at DW HQ offered me the chance to give away a watch to one of you bloody brilliant people, how could I say no? 

Daniel Wellington have pretty much been with me since the start of my blog - in fact, I think they were one of the first ever companies to work with me - and whilst I'm not exactly at any sort of blog milestone or anything like that, I'm still so amazed that you guys continue to click onto my little corner of the internet and read what I have to say. Even though it might not be overly sane at times #sorrynotsorry.

Let's not get too gushy here, but never in my wildest dreams did I think blogging would ever become, well, anything for me other than a hobby, but here I am. I know I may not say it all that often, but I'm so, so grateful for being able to do this all day every day and - most importantly - have you guys along for the ride. Even if that 'ride' consists of me typing away at 2am on a Saturday morning with garlic bread all around my face. Like I said, dream job.

ANYWAY. It's far too late, I'm far too tired, and you probably just want to know how to win a watch. Keep on scrolling for the details!

Use code cocochic to get 15% off any Daniel Wellington order!

How to enter:

1. Visit Daniel Wellington and copy the link to your favourite watch
2. Follow Cocochic (me!) on Bloglovin'
3. Leave a comment below with your name, email, and the link to your favourite DW watch

T+C (the boring bits):

The competition will run from 18.04.15 until 02.05.15 (two weeks). The winner will be selected at random and will be contacted via email to claim their prize. The winner will have one week to claim their prize before a runner up will be chosen. Only one entry per person. Please consult a parent or guardian before entering if you're under the age of 16.

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Cocochic

How much should you charge for sponsored blog posts?

How much should you charge for blog posts and how to set your rates

Sorry for the later upload, but I've spent a lot of my evening talking to the wonderful bloggers on the #fblchat hashtag on Twitter! Tonight's discussion was all about how to transition from a 9-5 job to a full-time blogger (which will be the topic of next week) and - since the two are linked up quite nicely - I decided to wait until the end of our chat to get this post up.

So alas! The golden question. How much should you really be charging for your sponsored blog posts? Now obviously if you're in The Blonde Salad or Zoella sort of territory, you can pretty much charge whatever you like, so let's keep this all quite realistic because - let's face it - if you were already making six figures a post, you wouldn't really be here, would you?

For ages I've just been plucking random numbers out of my head, or taking whatever brands gave me, until I spoke to a few blogger friends that made me realise I was possibly charging the wrong amount for different things. I was underselling myself, in other words. 

A few months ago I was asked for my rate card...I mean what!? Why would I - just a small town girl (living in a lonely woooorld) have a freakin' rate card? To act as a guideline for PRs, that's why. 

Now obviously you're not going to have one flat rate for absolutely everything you do. Sometimes brands want a lot of social push to go alongside the post and sometimes PRs want a dedicated feature that doesn't include any competitors, which means you're going to need to work out your 'hourly rate' to coincide with the type of post that needs to be done. Sounds like fun, right!? No. No it's not. So to save you lovely lot some time I've decided to make a little table for you that will hopefully give you an idea about what to charge. It's not set in stone (by all means, ignore it completely!) but it's the sort of thing I go by.

*Update: Google no longer updates their Page Rank. This blog post has been adjusted accordingly!

Sponsored posts how much should you charge

Check your domain authority here

Again, don't take this thing too seriously - I'm definitely not a pro when it comes to working out exactly what is right. But after looking at a bunch of different bloggers and their rate cards/price lists it all sort of averaged out at this - and I mean that very, very loosely.

For my little rate card, I go by the above table as well as my social reach and quality of what I do. If you have a special skill, be sure to add in a bit of extra dollar for that, as you'll need to be covering the cost of both your time and expertise. If you happen to have hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers, factor that in too. Basically, find that one (or two, or three!) thing(s) that makes you stand out from everyone else, and cater your price to that.

Aaaand breathe. Anyway. I hope this maybe helped some of you out there, and obviously feel free to put in your own points of view to help any one else out that might read the comments (or even help me out, pls). Stay tuned for the next Tip Tuesday!

Do you have any tips about how much to charge for a blog post?

UK Fashion & Beauty Blogger Cocochic