So I'm sitting here, wearing head to toe Chanel (this season, obviously) with Anna Wintour on the phone (begging me to be on the cover of the September issue) and more money sitting in my Hermes bag than I know what to do with. Ah, the life of a fashion blogger, eh? It almost sounds too good to be true.
And, unfortunately, it kinda is. I mean,don't get me wrong, I bloody love what I do beyond belief, and I feel insanely lucky each and every day that I get to wake up when I want, and write about what I want. But man, it's definitely not as glamourous as us gals make it out to be. There's no Hermes in sight - or head to toe Chanel for that matter. Instead, it's more like empty MacDonalds boxes and head to toe Primark pyjamas. But if I'm being completely honest, that's more my kind of thing. So understated, you know?
So anyway. We all know I like to keep it real (always wanted to say that) here on the blog, so I've decided to make a post all about what really happens behind the scenes. That's right guys, I'm not the sophisticated, composed, completely faultless human being you all thought I was.. *cough*. In fact, I'm writing this whilst wearing a tomato stained vest top right this second. Oh the glamour! Speaking of which..
You blog about pretty clothes, but spend your life in your pyjamas
Wait, did you really think I wore heels all day long? On these cobblestone English streets? Hell. No. Sure, I wear my nice clothes when I'm out and about, but as soon as I get inside off go the dresses (and the bra) and on go the tracksuit bottoms. Sitting at a desk in skintight leather trousers gets...itchy, to say the least. Elasticated waist bands are where it's at.
And what about days off? There are no days off
I guess this is all relative depending on how strict you are with what you do, but I'm one of those people that just keep on trucking no matter what. I guess when you work for yourself (or even just like to blog, a lot) there isn't much that can stop you from posting, whether it's illness, school, sleep, or even a holiday (gotta get poolside snaps). Would you judge me if I told you I skipped Uni sometimes just so I can blog? I hope my lecturer doesn't read this.
The most menial things will seem like a day out
Since days off are pretty much non-existent, you end up getting super excited whenever you leave the house. Today I went to the post office and bought some milk. It was probably the most fun I had had all week. I wish I was lying.
But despite all this, people will never believe you're actually busy
I wish the majority of my day was spent shopping and taking selfies, but the fact is is that most of the time I'm just replying to emails and filing out paperwork. Self assessment tax forms are the devil - s'all I'm sayin'.
Friends will think you're a millionaire (you're not)
Sometimes my bank balance will look really, really nice. Sometimes I'll be living off of Super Noodles. The fact is is that freelance work is never steady money, no matter how successful you are. There have been times where I haven't earned a single penny for months, and there have been times when I've felt like one of those cool pimps in MTV music videos making it rain over the sexy naked ladies. Only they dress better than I do..
Most of the money you earn will go back into what you do
Cameras, laptops, memory cards - I hate to think of how much I've spent on 'equipment' over the years. It's not even just useful things either. I'm forever spending money on new photo props just to make sure my flatlays don't all look the same. If I come home with a fresh bunch of flowers, you know I'm about to shoot some blog pics. Why else would I buy them!?
You'll start noticing (and hating) pointless things about yourself
For every decent outfit shot there are fifty more terrible ones. I guess on average we shoot around two hundred pictures of each outfit, each time - and guess who has to go through all of them at the end of the day? Yup, me. You'd think I would have gotten used to seeing photos of myself, but every new #ootd makes me cringe just as much as the last. I have a bump on my nose that I never noticed before, I have a vein that sits around my mouth that I never noticed before and my ankles are bigger than I'd like them to be. I'm aware I sound deranged. I guess with this you can either let it bring you down or you can just laugh it off - which is exactly why I've spent the past few weeks saving all of my best/worst outfit shots for a future blog post. Heh.
You'll either be cold, or really really warm
So you know that thing about fashion always being a season ahead of itself? Yeah, it's kinda the same for us bloggers. In the outfit snaps above you can see me wearing French Connections A/W collection (which is insane, btw) and - whilst I might look fairly comfortable - I was sporting this RSVP wool jumper on one of the hottest days of the year. Same goes for shooting Spring/Summer collections. The amount of times I've worn a swimsuit in the peak of winter is, well, chilling..(sorry).
And finally, no matter who you are, you'll always get weird looks from the public
I often wonder what people must think of me when they see me getting my pose on in the streets. They must either think I'm super important or just really, really weird. We both know the answer to that one. Obviously the first option is the right one. Obviously.
Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go and do really important blogger things like change the cat litter and take the rubbish out..
Can you guys relate to any of these misconceptions at all (please tell me I'm not alone)?