I am a girl (in case you hadn't noticed) and - I don't know about you guys - but I'm pretty sure us girls have this whole envy/jealousy thing down. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that I could probably go right ahead and list it on my CV as one of my most-used skills, right in between my talents for watching an entire TV series in one weekend and eating a McDonalds double cheeseburger in less than a minute. I can also say the alphabet backwards, but hey, let's not get too impressive here.
So anyway, despite my extensive list of useful talents, I am very much a jealous sort of gal - and it's probably my biggest downfall. Being surrounded by (quite literally) hundreds of thousands of bloggers day in, day out, can it can do crazy things to a girl's confidence. One minute you're on top of the world, the next you're floating around in your PJs for days on end questioning everything that you do, and beating yourself up about the most irrelevant things that - in hindsight - just do not matter in the slightest.
Take a few weeks ago for example. I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when I was contacted by a company who were putting out feelers for an upcoming campaign. Pretty exciting right? That was, until the company backed out from the collaboration and decided to go with a different blogger who they felt fit their target audience better. Bummer. But whatever, this sort of thing happens all the time in the blogging world - I can take it.
Two hours later and I was contacted again - this time by a well known publication. A few weeks prior to this they asked me to create content for them to go in their magazine, which I (very excitedly) agreed to. I opened up the email in hopes to see some sort of screen grab of my feature or something, but instead the email simply informed me that the magazine had decided to scrap my feature. Ouch. Not gonna lie, that one did hurt a bit. But again, it is what it is.
Then - in my semi-feeling-sorry-for-myself state - I decided to hop on over to Instagram for a bit of lunch time procrastination (also known as a self-loathing session). Big mistake, because now, for the next twelve hours all I'll be doing is asking myself questions. How do these bloggers look so great all the time? Why is their life so much more interesting? How did they get so many followers? Why did my photo of a cup of coffee not get as many likes as them? I feel crazy even writing that.
But I guess that's just the name of the game in blogging isn't it? It's basically a bunch of girls passively competing with each other to get the next job or reach their next follower milestone. If you're the one getting the job, chances are someone else is missing out because of that, and vice versa. I think blogging must be one of the only industries that someone's worth is (generally) based on the amount of numbers they can rack up on one platform. The more followers you have, the more opportunities you get, the higher you're ranked in the blogging community. The higher you're ranked in the blogging community, chances are the more you're going to get paid. When there are bills to pay, why wouldn't we want to be the best at what we do?
Now obviously I know it's not actually a competition between us bloggers. I mean, despite getting jealous about silly things, I'm seriously proud of all the bloggers out there making a name for themselves. Like, just think about it. These people are getting recognised, making money and (sometimes) even turning themselves into celebrities by, well, by just being themselves. Which makes envy and jealousy a completely useless thing to feel. Take for example the lovely Lydia Millen (who is forever a source of my insecurities thanks to her all-round perfect genetic make up). I'm jealous of Lydia for doing so well, and looking how she does. Can I look like her? No, not unless I spend my entire life savings on surgery (wouldn't that be creepy). So why should I spend so much time thinking about it? Can I ever do what she's doing? No, not exactly. I mean, who knows what the future might hold for lil old me, but that girl - like all the other successful bloggers out there - is doing well for doing what she does best. Is ther best, my best? No, it's probably not. So again, why dwell on it? If you can't become that person, stop thinking about it and focus on the person you can be, which is yourself.
I guess it's also important to note that when it comes to social media and blogging, things are never quite how they seem. I like to keep everything I do as transparent as possible, but even so, you'll never 100% know me just through a series of blog posts and pictures. Could you imagine if I blogged what I actually did every day of my life? It would just be a series of University essays and leggings with holes in. Not the most instagrammable things in the world, I must say.
I guess what I'm trying to say here, is that we as online-folk tend to only show off the things we want people to see, in the best filter possible. I mean isn't that essentially a blogger's job half the time? Encouraging others to buy into things (be it a sweater or a lifestyle)? I'm not denying that some of our fellow-bloggers aren't absolutely killing it in pretty much every aspect of life, but - and this is my non-jealous, fairly clear-thinking head talking - I refuse to believe that anyone's life is as perfect as their Instagram shows it to be. Think about it - would you really be jealous of their jet lag and tax returns, or even the nasty comments? Just think of that next time you get that dreaded blogger envy. And next time I get it? I'll be sure to log out of Instagram ASAP.
Do you guys experience a bit of blogger envy? How do you deal with it?
What I'm wearing:
Bershka beanie hat (similar from Missguided) *
Bershka leather jacket (Similar from Noisy May) *
Bershka striped top (similar from Warehouse) *
Bershka flared jeans (similar from Missguided) *
Bershka bag (similar from Kurt Geiger) *
Bershka slip ons (similar from Vans) *
[Head on over to the Bershka BScene blog to see more snaps from this shoot!]