A few months ago I made a blog post all about those times when you just don't feel good enough. I spoke about comparing yourself to other people and why we all need to embrace ourselves for who we are, both on the outside and inside. I talked and talked (or rather, typed and typed) about why it's perfectly okay to be who yourself, and yet here I am, getting stuff injected into my face in order to make me feel better. Guys, I gave up. I gave up trying to overcome my flaws and - instead of learning to love them - I decided to tackle them head on and banish them altogether (kind of). I woke up one day, looked in the mirror (and then looked at my bank balance, ahem) and decided enough was enough - I wasn't going to bully myself any more. The rational part of my brain knew I looked fine as I was, but the voice in my head kept telling me otherwise and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore it. So on my 23rd birthday I decided I wouldn't try to any longer, and so I booked myself an appointment for lip fillers.
I'd heard so much about them following the whole Kylie Jenner craze, but I knew I wanted to go for something subtle to start with. I'd never been a fan of my lips - or my general mouth-area - to be honest. I didn't mind how I looked from the front, but I hated my profile, and I especially hated my smile. I spent years with braces strapped to my teeth, and far too much money on teeth whitening treatments, but I still felt self-conscious, so when I arrived at the clinic and Dr Kinsella told me my top lip was irregular I thought to myself: 'Yes! This is what's been wrong all along'. I'll spare you the gory details (and by that, I mean I've edited it all together in a video for you down below) but I left the clinic with a spring in my step and £300 worth of filler in my lips. And a bruise or two, which you can see down below.
LIPS - BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER (1ML)
A few weeks later and I was still so in love with my fuller lips. The bruising had gone down, the injection sites were no longer visible and they finally started to feel normal. Almost too normal. Normal in a sense that I still didn't feel happy with my face. I thought maye I wanted more, but I knew that I didn't want to overdo it. I had a check up appointment at the clinic later that week, and so I decided to confront Dr Kinsella then about the lack of love I had for my face. We spoke about the proportions of my face, and he explained to me that the reason I had such a dislike for the lower part of my face was potentially because I had a weak jaw that detracted from the rest of me.
(Okay, so we both sound crazy. It's a hard one to explain, so I guess I'll just have to let the pictures do the talking for this one.)
In the first picture you can see that the space between my lips and the tip of my chin was quite angular, which made my lips and teeth appear to stick further forward than the rest of my face. You can also see that my chin itself is generally quite short, which makes it almost blend into my neck without any real definition (AKA I was a worm). To help strengthen my jaw, Dr Kinsella injected 2ml of filler into the centre part of my chin in order to fill it out and give it the appearance of looking longer. I know right? #Science.
CHIN - BEFORE AND AFTER (2ML)
Anyway, life stories and everything aside, I really couldn't be happier with the outcome. I know lip fillers are such a controversial topic right now (let alone chin fillers!) but I really don't regret a thing. It was expensive and sometimes uncomfortable, but it's given me the biggest confidence boost imaginable. In a perfect world I'd have learnt to love myself without all the added extras, but - just like each and every one of us - life isn't perfect. And if all it takes for me to feel happy in my own skin is a little nip and tuck here and there, then I say bring it on. Screw you, insecurities.
ON MY LIPS:
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Does it hurt? A little bit! But not any more than an injection at the hospital would. It's more uncomfortable than painful.
Is it permanent? Nope - dermal fillers last for up to 12 months, depending on the person and where the filler is injected.
Does it bruise? It can do - again this depends on the person and where the filler is. It's usually very minimal though.
Does it feel hard? At first, yes (and it's very weird). But after a week or two it meshes with your own body and feels normal!
Do they use anaesthetic? It depends on your doctor. Some fillers (like mine) contain anaesthetic already!
How long does it take? For me, each process took around 10-15 minutes, but it all depends on the doctor doing it.
What if I don't like it? Talk to your doctor first, but don't sweat it - most dermal fillers can be dissolved with hyaluronidase.
Top Tips for dermal fillers
1. Do your research. Don't just go with the first place you come across, and definitely don't go for the cheapest. In the UK dermal fillers *should* cost around £250 for every 1ml of product. If you have to save up for a little longer in order to pay that much, then do it. It's not worth risking your already-lovely face just to save a few quid.
2. Listen to your doctor. If they're good, then they'll know what's best for you and your face. Generally, cosmetic doctors look at your face in terms of proportions. Just like with me, you might think you want your lips bigger, but in actual fact you could just be overcompensating for something else. A good doctor will always tell you when enough is enough.
3. Don't ask for someone else's face. Kylie Jenner lips might be at the top of your wish list, but they're her lips, not yours, and whilst they might look great on her, they might not look the same on you. Look to improve your face, not change it.
Let me know if you have any questions in the comments!