It always feels a bit strange writing the first line of a blog post when I haven't really been around for a while. It's like when you bump into someone from school that you haven't seen in ten years. 'Whats new?!' they say. Oh you know, just everything. About four hundred hair cuts, puberty - you know how it goes.
So, what is new, you might ask? Well puberty is still going strong and I have had a few hairdresser trips lately (more on that soon) and - you know - I finished University with what looks to be a high 2:1, I've been on holiday and developed a (real!) tan for the first time in about five years and - above all - I'm just really really happy right now. Things are good.
I mean, things were never awful, but a few weeks ago I was struggling a little bit behind the scenes. I was finishing up my dissertation, running to and from London for multiple jobs just to make sure I didn't end up in my overdraft after my student loans stopped coming in. I was taking on as many jobs as I could to make sure I got a decent start at doing this whole full time blogger thang, and that resulted in my blog turning into sponsored post central. Now, of course I only worked with brands I wanted to that fit with my blog style (I mean, I'm not quite desperate enough to start advertising continence pads..yet), but because I was posting so sporadically it felt that every other post came with a disclaimer. Sorry about that, but, you know, rent and cat food bills are a killer.
So the thing that I could usually turn to when I was feeling stressed (AKA this blog) wound up being something that I had to fully rely on to ensure I didn't get behind on my rent or - worst of all - not being able to prove everyone wrong who said I could never do the internet as a job. But, like everything else in life, we all come out on the other side, and after a much needed holiday (seriously, I slept for about 5 our of 7 days of it) I've
come back to my computer, more excited about blogging than ever before.
Blogging has always been something that I just liked to do, and every so often I'd get a bit of money thrown my way or the odd opportunity handed to me, making it that little bit sweeter. But when my life became a big ball of stress and I began using my blog for work as opposed to fun (with a few pennies here and there) it ended up becoming yet another thing that I felt I 'had' to do, instead of something I wanted to do. So after finishing uni I decided to fall off the radar for a little while. I wasn't sure if I'd be gone for a day, or if I'd choose to scrap the idea of blogging altogether, I just knew I had to take a breather from everything for a while, and come back when I was actually ready to, not when I felt like I should have been ready.
A week without any real internet did me good. At first, I didn't miss my overflowing inbox in the slightest. I was quite happy Snapchatting here and there and posting Instagram snaps like any other person on holiday would. For that one week, I had no need to login to wifi unless I simply wanted to. By the last day, I was itching to get back home and answer my emails. I felt like I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do with this blog and my Youtube, and for the first time in months I actually got excited about piecing together a blog post.
Because you see, there really can be too much of a good thing. You can love your job more than anything, you can be completely infatuated with someone, or you can just really, really like cake. But if you're forced to eat cake every single day of your life (#goals), after a while, you'll probably wind up craving some sort of salad. Unless it's an exceptional red velvet - that's a whole other story.
School holidays, bank holidays, weekends - these things were all invented for people to just chill the eff out - something I hadn't really done in, well, since my last holiday over three years ago. And after a few weeks away from uni, working blogging and just about anything that doesn't me sleeping and/or eating, for the first time in so long I've been able to blog - stress-free - just like I used to back in the day of bad photos and baggy clothes. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say. And whilst I'm not overly sure who 'they' are, they do seem to have a point.