It seems as though - judging by some of my last posts - you guys like it more when I let loose and reveal a bit more to you than just my awkward poses and baggy tees, so today I've decided to share with you a little story on how the reality of confidence and blogging, how I feel about everything right now and different ways we can all feel a bit better about ourselves!
So here I am, posing in the street yet again. Aren't bloggers just so vain? Obviously I'm joking, but even if I wasn't, why is the word 'vain' such a bad thing? Surely it's just a four letter word that means someone likes how they look/are and they're not afraid to admit it? Who knows. Maybe that's another blog post entirely.
But anyway, when it comes to me personally, I absolutely, well and truly, 100%, genuinely hate having my photo taken. I'm awkward in front of a camera, get embarrassed when people look at me and pretty much beg my boyfriend (taking the photos) to hurry up so i can go home, put on my onesie and edit the hell out of them to make me look better. Saying that, when I do get home and click on my iMac, and when I do sometimes find some photos I actually like it's a real confidence booster, which is exactly what I'm going to try to address today.
I mean I'm sure we were all picked on in school for some reason, right? Some more than others of course, and whilst I wasn't flat out bullied I never had it overly easy growing up when it came down to some of my classmates. Woe is me. The main reason - apart from being known as a bit of a 'boffin' (lol) - was down to how I looked. I was lanky (for some reason I haven't grown since I was about 13 wa) with a full blown monobrow, wonky happy teeth and a head that was far too big for my body. And I loved Dragon Ball Z, like seriously loved it.
I'm going off topic! So yeah, needless to say I was never a popular gal growing up, and it was only up until College that I sort of came into my own, and people actually started to care less about how I looked and *gasp* more about me as a person. Baring in mind I no longer had a monobrow - that probably helped.
Now obviously it goes without saying that it's not about how you look, it's about who you are. And whilst that's more important than absolutely anything, let's face reality here - we all look at each other, we all judge (whether we mean to or not) and I'm pretty sure the majority of us do actually care about how we look. Isn't it stupid how we grow up with bullies in school, then when we get older - and probably a lot better looking - we start to bully ourself?
That's exactly what I do anyway. I mean it may be the sort of industry I work in, or maybe it's just me as a person, but I'm always the sort to pick holes in myself. In fact, just today (baring in mind, I'm a hormonal wreck atm) I was scrolling through my Bloglovin' feed and I swear with every scroll I came across more and more beautiful girls, and with every beautiful girl I saw I got more and more depressed about my own appearance. Yet I couldn't stop. Twenty minutes later and I was a sobbing wreck with cry-bogeys falling out of my nose. That only added to my beauty!
In all seriousness though, I'm not saying this to get any compliments at all, I'm saying it because it's the reality of me..and I'm sure a million other girls out there. I know my parents and boyfriend (and maybe some other people somewhere!) will think I'm the most beautiful thing on the planet, and others will think the complete opposite, but let's all be real here, is there really anything wrong with me, or even you for that matter? Probably not, even if the media/world/internet says otherwise.
So that leads me onto the first thing both I (and maybe some of you) need to stop doing: comparing ourselves to others. Chances are, if I'm sat here wanting to look like these other girls there's someone somewhere in the world wanting to look more like me, and same goes for you lovely lot. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever come across a girl (or even a guy for that matter) that doesn't fault at least one thing about themselves - including some of these blogger girls I was sobbing over earlier. Hell, I'm sure even the Victoria Secret models hate something about themselves too, and they're pretty much marketed to be what perfection looks like. #life.
So with all that being said, I think one thing has become pretty clear. I'm not perfect. Hey! You're not perfect either. In fact, who even is anyway? Answer: No one (although I like to tell my cats they are because..you know, that's what Mum's do). So now that we've all come to the conclusion that we all probably have at least one thing wrong with us (I have slightly longer toes than I'd like) and so does everyone else, let's just get on with our lives shall we? Not being perfect is old news, so why even worry about it any more? It's like so 2014.
I hope this post has maybe helped some of you, or at least made you laugh! I always love reading your comments (I'm crap at replying though...I'm working on it!!) so if you feel like it, why not share one thing you love about yourself, and one weird fact about yourself? For example I love that my hair grows at like 80 miles per hour. And a weird fact about me? You mean, apart from my long toes? Well, I guess I do have a weird fascination with watching black head videos. Anyone with me on that one?