I feel like I've always made it pretty clear that - despite suffering from Resting Bitch Face Syndrone 24/7 - I've never really been one to take myself overly seriously. I say this as I sit at my desk wearing a polar bear sweater, reindeer slippers and - oddly enough - a set of leopard print cat ears. Whatever, it was wear your ow nclothes day at my work place (AKA my bedroom) today, sue me.
So I was going to write a post all about transforming your daily outfit into something more party appropriate. Then i realised that, actually, no party is worth going to this Christmas unless pyjamas are mandatory, so that idea kind of went out the window for me. Instead, I've decided to expand on something that happened when Ollie and I were shooting this look a few days back that really does reiterate the fact that, no matter what Instagram tells you, blogging ain't as glam as ya'll might think. Like I said, currently sat in festive-slash-cat attire.
Anyway, about that OOTD scenaio. It's reaally not as dramatic as I'm making out. It simply involved an old man, who was adamently clutching onto a fold-out chair (I feel like this is a vital part of the story), licking his lips and asking me to turn around so he could see my a$$. I guess he liked my dress. But uh, yeah, in all seriousness, that shitty stuff happens almost every time we shoot looks, which leads me onto my first lil expectations VS reality situ..
Expectations: Taking outfit photos are the easiest thing ever
Reality: Taking outfit photos are the worst part of blogging / life
I'm pretty sure I can't be the only blogger in the world thay hates having their photo taken. Sure, I might look semi composed in approximately 3 of the 800 pics we take, but trust me, every single one of them was a straight up fluke. And that's not me being humble. I'm genuinely just thankful that my fce decides to move in a way that sometimes looks remotely okay on a computer screen. But it's not even my face that's the issue in pictures - I can awkwardly stand around all day if needs be - it's the other distractions that come with shooting. Like the weather, or members of the public, or the light, or finding a decent background, or, you know, the man with the fold up chair that stares at you for a good minute whilst licking his lips. Yeah.. Can't I just become a food blogger and take pictures of burgers instead? Please?
Expectations: Everything looks Instagram-ready and flawless
Reality: The floor is normally covered in clothes and/or photography equipment
Sure, my Instagram might give off the impression that I'm super tidy and minimalistic, but my house kind of says the opposite. Don't get me wrong, when I'm in the zone my very non-Pinterest-y house looks somewhat photogenic. But when I'm snapping away for the blog or doing anything remotely productive, all of my possessions just seem to pile onto the floor in one big mess. Of course, they're usually squished into a corner and kept well out of view of the camera.
Oh, and ever wonder why I don't often/ever post pictures of super healthy kale salads and matcha lattes? It's because I'm busy stuffing my face with a double cheese burger and fries. And that doesn't exactly fit with my Instagram theme, so..
EXPECTATIONS: BEING A FULL-TIME BLOGGER MUST MEAN BIG MONEY
REALITY: YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOUR NEXT PAY CHEQUE MIGHT BE
I'll admit, there have been times in my internet life where I've been offered a 'pinch me' amount of money in exchange for a really easy blog post or collaboration. I know, pretty cool right? And it is, but, just because I get paid a nice sum one month, doesn't mean I won't get paid pennies the next. I know loads of bloggers that work alongside their blogs because you simply never know when you're next going to get paid. So sure, the odd post might pay off nicely, but when it's the only thing you're gonna get for the next few months, minimum wage looks pretty tempting.
EXPECTATIONS: WE WALK AROUND IN HEELS ALL DAY EVERY DAY
REALITY: PLEASE, I BARELY EVEN WEAR A BRA UNLESS I'M BEING PHOTOGRAPHED
I remember thinking to myself once upon a time, 'how on earth do these bloggers walk in those heels all day long?' and the simple answer is that they just don't. Unless they're taking Ubers everywhere they go, or unless they have a super fancy driver following them around, those heels get slipped on for the pictures and get swapped for flats straight after. And don't get even begin to think that us bloggers do our thang all dressed up when we're at home. It's pyjamas and sweat pants all day, erryday my friends. Hey, sometimes I even brush my hair if I feel like impressing someone.
EXPECTATIONS: BLOGGERS HAVE TONS OF BLOGGER PALS THAT THEY SEE ALL THE TIME
REALITY: BLOGGERS SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME AT HOME BY THEMSELVES
I wrote a post ages ago about why blogging is a lonely business (#subtleplug) which basically talks about how blogging is very much an in-office (or in my case, bedroom) type of jobby. Sure, there are super fun parties and blogger events that happen every so often but - especially when you live outside of London - this sort of thing isn't exactly a daily occurrence. It's all about tapping away on our keywords, editing pictures, answering emails, sending invoices. ROCK AND ROLL!
EXPECTATIONS: BLOGGERS DON'T APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THEY GET
REALITY: I BLOODY LOVE WHAT I DO
Despite all the not-so-glamourous things I've written above, I really can't stress enough how much I love doing this whole internet thang. Even with my un-brushed hair, money woes and messy house, it's pretty damn great. So, thanks for helping me work a job that doesn't require me wearing a bra. My boobs and I are very grateful.
What's your dream job?