An open letter to the bullies

This post goes out to the group of mean girls that pretended to by my friend in secondary school, the boys that called me ugly and asked me out on dates having lost a bet with their friends, the girls that pushed me out of the friendship group for a reason that still remains a mystery to me and to all of the faceless strangers that have left me anonymous threats on the internet. You all made it your mission to bring me down, and each and every one of you succeeded - I guess I have to applaud you on that one. Chances are though, you've probably forgotten everything you ever said to me. I mean, why wouldn't you? I can't have been the only person that became the subject of your amusement. But if for any reason you happen to have stumbled across this post, I'd just like you know that the joke is well and truly on you. In fact, I kind of owe you one.

You see, it would be far too easy for me to carry on feeling bitter about everything that happened. I've spent long enough indulging in my own self pity, believing all of the things you told me about myself - that I was ugly, weird and a loner. 

When you tell young girls these things they don't just shrug it off because their parents tell them they're beautiful - they're supposed to say things like that. You tell them they're ugly and that two second insult stays with them for, well, let's just say longer than two seconds. I've spent the past fifteen years believing I was everything you told me I was. Maybe I should have just learnt to take it all on the chin. Maybe I was too sensitive and maybe I should have just gotten over it sooner. But in those fifteen years I've been on a continuous mission to really, truly, convince myself you were all wrong. 

And having finally made peace with myself, I'd just like to thank you all. Not for how you made me feel back then, but for how you've helped me feel now. You tried so hard to bring me down, but your plan backfired - albeit fifteen years too late - and instead I've used your insults as motivation to try harder and do better. I can't deny things would have been easier without you, but I also can't help but feel grateful for everything you put me through.  I hope you feel a little ashamed for how you treated people then, but I also hope you're doing well, 'cause I've never been better. Thank you (and fuck you) very much.


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